Your wedding is one of the most memorable days of your life! The happiness, the excitement, the joy, and the wonder, but what about when everything goes wrong?
It will still be one of your most memorable days but will you be able to look back on it with happiness, excitement, joy, and wonder?
We have a 20-year-old daughter, and her best friend was getting married! We were so excited when we received the beautiful invitation in the mail!
We were celebrating with this young couple already! They started dating in high school and were now moving into the next phase of life as husband and wife.
We flew to AZ to attend the wedding and to show our support for this young couple. It just so happened that the wedding was Thanksgiving Weekend. We were also getting the added bonus of spending the holidays with family.
Wedding events were happening all week, so our daughter was off and running most days; the maid of honor life!
And then……the bride's world seemed to fall apart for a moment. A couple of days before the wedding, she found out that her Dad tested positive for Covid-19. Everyone else in the family tested negative at this time, but her Dad would NOT be at her wedding. She was heartbroken.
Over the next couple of days, her brother-in-law, sisters, and one of her brothers also tested positive. More than half of her family would not be attending her wedding. Her Dad would not be walking her down the aisle, and her sisters would not be standing by her side as she said, "I do."
An announcement was sent out to all the guests, letting them know that covid had hit the family. The wedding was an indoor event, so many guests chose not to attend. Us included. We were so sad to miss the wedding, so I can only imagine the sadness that the bride felt. My heart broke for her.
However, there was a wedding, and the young couple were husband and wife by the end of the day!
Even though weddings are beautiful and often what little girls dream of for years, do they actually change the outcome? The marriage? The covenant made between husband, wife, and God?
The answer is a simple no.
A wedding may be all the things mentioned above, but a wedding doesn't dictate a marriage. This young couple chose to have a wedding to celebrate their love and commitment in front of all who could attend and even those of us who couldn't.
Their life now starts anew. A new covenant, a new promise, a new couple who has chosen to become one flesh, to share a life together with God has the head.
Marriage is one of God's most beautiful creations when it is lived out according to his design.
My prayer for this young couple is that they walk in His ways.
According to scripture in Ephesians 5: 25-33, to walk in His ways, this new husband will…
Love his bride the way that Christ loves the church
Give up your lives for her
Nourish and cherish her
These three guidelines are set for the husband. They may seem simple at first glance, but when we read about how Christ loved the church so selflessly and sacrificial, we see that the call of the husband's love is great. A husband is called to protect his wife at all costs, even if it means to give his own life. When a husband is called to nourish and cherish his wife, he is called to do this in the same way he does for himself and his own body. A husband is called to love and care for his wife and her physical needs.
According to scripture in 1 Corinthians 11:9, 1 Timothy 5:14, this means that this new wife will…
Love her husband
Bear children and care for the home
Submit to the headship of her husband as he submits to the Lord
Being a Godly wife comes from being a virtuous woman. When a wife strives to be a Proverbs 31 woman, being a Godly wife follows in those steps. A wife is to love her husband. She is to be willing to have children and help care for the home's day-to-day. This doesn't mean that a wife can't choose to work outside of the home. However, it does mean that even in that decision, she is called to be the home's caretaker. A wife is also to submit to her husband as her husband is called to submit to the Lord. This means that a wife is to show respect to her husband as the head. It is essential to understand that the husband is submitting and showing his respect by following the leadership of the Lord. Therefore, the wife is also following the leadership of the Lord.
As humans, we tend to forget all that love entails. When we are showing biblical love to our spouses, we are loving the way that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 talks about.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Weddings don't make a marriage last; love, respect, commitment, perseverance, forgiveness, and the Lord are the inner makings of a marriage.
To our beautiful young couple whose wedding was not what they had dreamed, this is my prayer for you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are the God of all creation! The God of love and marriage. Please wrap this precious couple in the arms of your love. Remind them daily to choose one another only second to you. Allow them joy, laughter and happiness even amongst their most difficult times.
I pray that you surround them with marriages that exude your love and grace. We know that examples and mentorship can make the biggest of impacts in the lives of us all.
Lord, help this couple to disagree peacefully with words of love and forgiveness when it needs to be given. Help them to be brave and know that they both have a voice.
Be with this young husband as he learns to love his new wife the way that you love the church and hold the hand of his wife as she learns to respect her husband even in moments of discord.
We know that you are the Father of love; thank you for connecting this sweet couple in the covenant of marriage. We love you and trust in your ways.
To all my long-standing husbands and wives, I hope this is an excellent reminder of your own wedding day and the vows that you made to one another.
When things get difficult, remember these important lessons from scripture on what it means to be married as husband and wife.
Go and find your love, give them a hug and a kiss, and whisper something that you loved about your special day. No matter how right or wrong your wedding went, you left with the promise of a new life, a new partner, new love, and many adventures.
If you find yourself in need/want of marriage or intimacy coaching, please don't hesitate to reach out. Marriage is for a lifetime, and it is worth putting in the effort to make it what you want it to be.