Are You Ready to Marry the Person in Front of You? Why Choosing Who They Are Now Matters in a Biblical Marriage Perspective

Hello, lovebirds! While you are in the midst of the thrilling stages of dating or engagement, it's important to remember to love and commit to your partner as they are now, rather than who you hope they will become in the future. Where are going to dive into this topic from a Biblical perspective, where you can see God’s design for your marriage now and forever.

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Dating vs. Wishing for Change

Picture this: you're elated, head over heels for your partner, but there's this nagging feeling that maybe they'd be perfect if they just tweaked a few things. Here's the truth - in God's eyes, your significant other is fearfully and wonderfully made, just as they are. If you find yourself constantly wishing they were different, hear this: they might not be your person. The person that you see in front of you is who they are. The way they act, the way the speak, what is important to them, their viewpoints, their thought processes, their characteristics, their cleanliness, their bad habits, their laugh, etc. These are the things that make up who we are as a whole person.

The Bible reminds us in Colossians 3:19, "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." This verse speaks volumes about acceptance and unconditional love, embracing our spouses' current state with open arms.

Choosing the Present, Not the Potential

When you're ready to take the leap into marriage, you're choosing the individual right in front of you, flaws and all. Marriage isn't about fixing someone; it's about embracing them wholly for who they are in the present moment. Remember, you aren't marrying them for who they might become in the future; you're saying "I do" to the person standing before you today.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t all have the ability for growth and change over time, we do. However, growth and change in specific areas should not be a requirement or even an expectation. If you are choosing to marry someone you are saying that you want them, choose them and would marry them over and over again, even if they stay exactly as they are right now.

The Jesus-Centered Relationship

A Christ-centered relationship serves as the cornerstone of a strong marital bond. Allow Jesus to guide your love and decisions. In Ephesians 5:25, we're reminded: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Nowhere does it say to love one another if your spouse changes like you thought they would once you were married.

Marriage is a choice to love, honor, respect and cherish one another. Look at what scripture says about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

When we are asking and expecting our person to change who they are, we are being self-seeking. We are asking our person to change something about themselves that is not sinful because we want them to, so that we will benefit us in some way.

This is not a biblical approach to marriage. If we use Jesus as an example, we can see in scripture that He only asked people to walk away from their sin. He didn’t ask them to change the way that they feel, function, communicate or process their thoughts. He didn’t ask them to do things “His” way (unless his request was to stop sinning). If we are called to love like Christ, then we are called to love people for who they are. This applies even more to marriage, where you are choosing the person that you are called to love forever.

Embracing Your Spouse's Fullness

Marriage isn't a project; it's a sacred union between two people who choose each other wholeheartedly. When you exchange vows, you're committing to loving, honoring, and respecting your spouse in all their entirety. So, take a step back and ask yourself, "Am I ready to accept this person, completely and unconditionally?"

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In Conclusion

Dear couples, as you journey towards the beautiful path of marriage, remember that love at its core is about acceptance, not transformation. Embrace your partner for who they are today and align your hearts with God's divine plan for your relationship. By choosing to love your spouse in their fullness, you're sowing the seeds of a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

So, are you ready to walk down the aisle and marry the person in front of you? Let their authentic self be the reason you say "I do" - that, my friends, is the essence of a biblical and joy-filled marriage.

Let love lead the way! 🌟

Disclaimer: If you are already married and your marriage is struggling because of differences, sinful behaviors, and unrest, please reach out for help and guidance in how to create the marriage that you want with one another.