The Word "Luck" Doesn't Describe My Marriage
Disclaimer: This post was originally posted on my old blog MyPennedHeart
I can’t tell you how many times Dan and I have heard that we are so “lucky” to have such a great marriage. I would always agree and say, “thank you”. Then I realized that I don’t want people to use that word to describe the marriage that Dan and I have built. We have worked really hard to be where we are and to have the relationship that we do.
To me, the word “luck” would imply just that...luck.
Luck by definition is 1. success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.
My marriage isn’t great by chance or lack of actions. My marriage is the outcome of choices, actions, arguments, sayings, listening, forgiving and understanding all based on the love that we share. I want my kids to know that falling in love is easy, staying in love and growing that love takes work and dedication. It takes self-sacrifice and admitting when you are wrong. It is a combination of sticking up for yourself and also adjusting to meet your spouses' needs. This includes biting your tongue, even when it is really hard. Marriage is full of sweat, tears, joy, sadness, happiness, and every emotion that God created us to feel.
There are many times that both of us could have chosen to respond in anger, to hold grudges, to not forgive, to give the silent treatment and choose not to work through our problems, but those are the responses that lead to the domino effect of destruction.
Yes I have been mad, yes I have yelled, cried, said not nice things and had regrets, but before the night comes to an end, there is resolution, forgiveness and the know that we love each other and will do anything to keep that love going.
My daughter is 14 and watched as I penned a card to her Dad last night. He is out of town and I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him. I wrote a thank you card for his love. I sealed it with a kiss, sprayed the envelope with perfume and will put it in the mail today to be delivered to our house on Saturday, the day he gets home. She looked at me giggling and said, “Mom, you are such a teenager”. My reply was, “ This is why we are still in love like teenagers. I hope that you are watching and learning right now. The thoughtful silly things are what keeps our love young and fun in the midst of all the “adult” stuff that we deal with every day”.
Marriage is work, but the “work” doesn’t always have to be hard. Sometimes it can be a sweet gesture, that causes a smile and maybe a little tingle.
Although I wouldn’t use the word "luck" to describe my marriage, I do feel very lucky that God lead Dan and I together and that he has blessed our marriage beyond measure. I didn’t do anything to deserve him, but I will do everything in my power to keep our marriage alive, strong and growing!