Treat Them Like You're Dating
Why is it that we put massive amounts of effort into dating someone we barely know? The person that we may or may not like anymore in a few months time?
When couples begin dating they spend hours talking on the phone, flowers are bought, dates are planned, time is spent "looking ones best" and so much more and then..........
You are two years into a long term dating relationship or you are newly married and wondering what went wrong.
You were so in love, you felt important and interesting, wanted and needed. Now you don't.
Couples, it doesn't matter how long you have been together those "dating" elements are so important. Keep doing them, keep "dating", buy flowers once a month, wear that sexy outfit that he loves, make one another a priority. When your attention is focused on the other person instead of yourself, your relationship will be more successful. When you are both focused on the other, you will keep that flame burning.
I can't tell you how many times I hear the words "marriage is soooo boring", it is not what people are expecting, but I am here to tell you that marriage does not have to be boring. It can be fun, exciting, rejuvenating and wonderful! Will it be these things ALL of the time? Probably not, every marriages has hills and valleys. When you find yourself in a valley it is vital to have to tools to climb back up that hill.
Here is a place to start:
Ask your spouse if they feel like you remarriage is everything they want it to be. If they say no, come up with a plan to get to where you want to be.
Start at the bottom and work your way back up. Sit down together and choose one thing that you wish you did more or had more of in your. relationship- now how are you going to make it happen?
Start putting in the effort that you did in the beginning. Your marriage is far more worth it than dating was. Plan the date, invite you spouse to go out with you and be excited.
These are baby steps of course and will not on their own help you create the marriage you want but it is certainly a starting point. When you are feeling discouraged, keep talking, keep climbing and keep reaching. Love is a journey, marriage is an adventure and when you can put the two together with the amount of effort that you had put into dating it can be a dream vacation!
If you just can't seem to get on the same page together and need some help getting there don't hesitate to reach out via the coaching tab above.